its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
