sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
