We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
