Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize