I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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