I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
