Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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