k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
