This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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