u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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