i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
