I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
