I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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