how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I have feelings that need drinking.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize