I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
