____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
