Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
