Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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