Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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