Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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