why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
