He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
