I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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