i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize