You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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