I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
