Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
