how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you didnt know i had herpes?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
There's always time for handjobs
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
