32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
