in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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