your thong is hanging out like whoa
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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