just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
