don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
