I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
