all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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