Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I need water and some morals
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