I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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