he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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