What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
