Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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