my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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