We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
