Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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