You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
