so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
