Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
