just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He? As in you personified your dick?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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