I met the friendliest cop last night
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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