well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
