I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
