Jerry, you need to find god
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
two words...techno handjob
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
