Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
