And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Found your dick twin last night
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize