He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
