I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize