Can i not drive my cunt home
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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