Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
