I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
