After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
