I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
